What you hold in your electronic hand is the famed lost novel of Bob and Tobly. And by lost we mean: we never showed anyone because it's really, really (really) bad. Written in 2003, well before we had heard of Sookie Stackhouse, Twilight, or even vampires, this novel taught us many things:

1) Don't write a book immediately on the tails of finishing writing another book.
2) Nonsensical asides make it really hard to follow a plot line.
3) Bananas are not insertable.
4) Writing a book with someone is a horrible experience and never suggested to anyone, ever.
5) Kitties die easier than we thought.
6) There is absolutely nothing funny about vampires.
7) When you get into a tough spot while writing do not, for any reason, insert a banana into a dead kitty.


So we hope you enjoy yet another book based on a bar we used to go to that's probably only funny to us. What do you want? It's free. Tom Robbins makes millions for his narcotic fueled nonsense and we're practically giving it away- so shut the fuck up. No, not you- we're talking about Tom Robbins. We hate him so much. No, we don't.

Why are we so angry, you might be wondering? Well that is a good question. A good question that has a super boring answer. Let's just boil it down to loneliness. And maybe because Rom Tobbins never writes us back. No matter how many dead kitties with bananas stuffed into orifices we send him.

Let us remember the good times we had at the bars and the characters we have met along the way. They were all special people, but sadly they are all dead.

RIP douche bags.

Paula Abdul Mega-Mix Medley,

Bob and Tobly McSmith