The Hymen Trophy: FOX’s newest reality show that follows newborn baby girls until the moment they break their hymen. It could be their first boyfriend! It could be a drunk uncle! It could even be a bicycle seat! Who knows. America will vote. Still to be decided what exactly America will vote for, but there will be voting involved. Standard text messaging rates apply.
	The Rambles: ABC’s latest dramedy about a rag tag group of gay and bi-curious men as they look for love and laughter in Central Park after dark. Cancelled after the entire cast contracted HIV on the first day of shooting.
	Oprah Presents The Not Oprah Show Not Starring Oprah: Tyra Banks breaks shit! LIVE!
	How I Met Your Murderer: Tune into this whimsical romp through the slaphappy times of the mid-19th century, when Cholera and Consumption weren’t the only thing killing the innocent people of London! Meet Jack the Ripper: when he isn’t killing prostitutes in back alleys, he is home with the wife and kids! Oh brother, the trouble and hijinks those Rippers get into! How I Met Your Murderer is a romantic family comedy that everyone is DYING to see! The laughs will literally split you open and your insides will fall right out! Belly laughs so big you will feel like you were stabbed in the funny!
	WifeSwap Season 4: This Time its For Keeps The laughter and learning continue in season 4 as families are thrown into upheaval as their matriarchs are sold into white slavery. Follow the exploits as a Midwestern mother and an uptight new England socialite are forced to perform fellatio on Japanese business men. The biggest question is who can kick their newfound heroin habit first?
	Will It Fit? Children learn a very important lesson about size and circumference in this new game show from the fine people that brought you “Shop Till You Drop!” and “Can That Kill You?”and “Dr. Oz” Watch as kids answer the timeless question “Will it Fit?” as they stuff and stick varying objects into themselves as they race against the clock for cash and prizes!
	Dr Quinn Medicine Woman A Woman Doctor!?!? What’s next a black person who doesn’t like watermelon? A jew who hates money? Hollywood sure is creative!!
	18 Kids With Downsyndome and Counting (slowly) Everyone Loves Raymond star Ray Ramona is back in this heart warming answer to "Extreme House Make Over"! 18 Kids are selected because of their story (heartwarming) their obstacle (warms the heart) and their will to achieve their impossible dream despite their handicap (getting warmer...in the heart) These little heroes are promptly drown in a bucket.
	Fragile Crack Rock Join the Fragiles in this new children’s series about learning to share, care, and a sudden overwhelming urge to shit. Staring Whitney Houston as the voice of the singing garbage heap.
	Leave it To Beiber From the creator of Survivor and Kate Plus Eight comes a brand new reality series featuring a ragtag group of horny prepubescent girls picked to live in a house with the one and only Justin Beiber for three months. The kicker? All the girls have vagina dentata. Good Luck, Justin! See you in hell!